Operatic elephant, monkey, & walrusDear PBS:
We’ve all survived yet another PBS fundraiser. And yet again, by some unfathomable logic, you’ve replaced your regular programming. The shows that I regularly watch were M.I.A. Instead, there were televised abominations. I’d rather have my eyelids glued open while being forced to watch back-to-back “Everybody Loves Raymond” re-runs than suffer through your fundraising fare.
I do not want to see:
1. Irish dancers in any configuration
2. André Rieu in any configuration
3. Peter, Paul, and Mary in concert
4. Any musical act from the 60s reunited in concert
5. Sarah Brightman
6. The Three Tenors
7. Anyone lecturing in an extremely earnest manner about staying young & living longer & with more money & feeling better & being happy because we "deserve" to.
No one should ever have to see or hear (especially hear) Sarah Brightman. PBS, if you show Sarah Brightman again, I am going to report you the U.N. Human Rights Commission.
I will not send you money when you continue to replace Nature on Sunday evenings. If you want money from me, show Nature at 8 p.m, regular programming. Or show more Nature. I want elephants, monkeys, and walruses, not their operatic equivalents.
When PBS fundraises, they target Boomers. This is the only possible explanation for the re-re-re-re-re-re-repeats of shows featuring Pete Seeger, Petula Clark, Jimi Hendrix, Roy Orbison, and “My Music: My Generation–The 60s.” I think Jimi Hendrix was a genius. I like Roy Orbison. But no one who watches PBS needs to see these tired old programs again. Especially Boomers, who already spend too much time wallowing in nostalgia and trying desperately to maintain a semblance of their long-vanished youth.
PBS, you are alienating an entire generation–mine–which will one day, when the Boomers run out of money after they’ve spent all theirs on plastic surgery, Botox, and gas for their SUVs, be your fundraising target. Think about this.
But perhaps I am not giving PBS enough credit. Perhaps they are employing a level of reverse psychology too sophisticated for me to grasp: they want to annoy me. They’re hoping I’ll become so annoyed that I’ll pay them to make The Three Tenors go away.
Okay, PBS, you win. How much will it cost to ensure that you never, ever show The Three Tenors again? Ever?
Name your price. I hope you take credit cards. And I still want the free tote bag.
1 comment:
As your mother, I do have to take issue with your comments about Pavarotti. He is deceased after all and I remember telling you, and I quote: `Don't dis the dead'.
I see the weather is hot. Wear the 40 SPF.
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